i just had sex bonerless
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
