$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I can't turn off my feet"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
