Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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