Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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