what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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