shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize