Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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