Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I did not marry a roomba.
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