K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
