Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
