The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
