she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
