Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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