Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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