You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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