How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
