I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize