Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
