Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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