If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize