She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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