anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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