I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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