just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
