If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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