He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize