There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
