I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize