never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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