Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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