Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
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we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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