Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
