It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.