I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
