R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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