Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We have started to decorate penises.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize