6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue