Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(903): View more from Texas

Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.

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(559): View more from California

We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.

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(630): View more from Illinois

it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(514): View more from Quebec

he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.

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(208): View more from Idaho

the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker

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(563): View more from Iowa

Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session

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(917): View more from New York City

Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.

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(830): View more from Texas

I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons

(214): View more from Texas

What

(830): View more from Texas

The only downside is I can't stop skipping

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