what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
