Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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