this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
