He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
