went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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