Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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