TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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