dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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