There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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