So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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