the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
