How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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