so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
