I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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