You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
