Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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