why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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