apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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