i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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