I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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