College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i think i have herpe
just one?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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