Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
