I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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