i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
