I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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