He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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