May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
