id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
